Why Do We Feel Embarrassed About Our Periods? How To Handle Period Shame

Shoving your tampon up your sleeve on your way to the bathroom, frantically getting your friend to check you for leaks while you’re in public, there are so many micro actions that go often go unnoticed when we’re dealing with our periods. These acts can go unnoticed because they’ve become so engrained in our routine and attitudes towards our periods that sadly can be classified as ‘the norm’. Half of the population will experience a period at least once in their lifetime and with figures around menstruation that high, it leaves us with the question – why do we feel embarrassment about it?

Of course, we haven’t pulled this feeling out of thin air. Those who menstruate are likely the ones least responsible for creating the taboo and shame around menstruation, and although feminist individuals and movements alike have pushed back on the narrative that has been set, it still poses as an issue today. An often cited example of menstrual stigma is the Bible, where in Leviticus chapter 15, verses 19-33 it reads: “And if a woman have an issue, and her issue in her flesh be blood, she shall be put apart seven days: and whosoever toucheth her shall be unclean until the even. And every thing that she lieth upon in her separation shall be unclean: every thing also that she sitteth upon shall be unclean.” The passage alludes to women as being ‘unclean’ during menstruation, and even ‘infecting’ anything they touch during this time. Other religions can place shame on menstruating people too, where religion can be used as justification to place shame and embarrassment on menstruation.

Shame and embarrassment has been rooted deeper throughout the 20th and 21st century too with conversations and media portrayal framing menstruation as something negative. 1950s women’s magazine Good Housekeeping published an advertisement for Modess’s new sanitary towel packaging which read: “So skilfully shaped not to look like a napkin box, that the sharpest eyes couldn’t guess what’s inside the wrapping.” Euphemisms around menstruation push shame further, with phrases like ‘that time of the month’ and ‘Aunt Flo’ referring to a period, without using the factual terminology. Joii Clinical Scientist Dr. Danielle Nader explains why euphemisms can be particularly harmful. “The perpetuation of period shame is reinforced by the use of euphemisms and indirect language that avoids referencing menstruation itself. When we use terms like 'that time of the month' or 'Aunt Flo' instead of directly saying 'period', we are inadvertently contributing to the secrecy and stigma of periods. This creates the feeling of discomfort when speaking about menstruation which further reinforces the concept that periods are something to be ashamed of because it distances people from the reality and normalness of menstruation."

Ciara* shares that for her, feelings of shame and discomfort around her period were as much a part of her menstruation as the shedding of her uteruses lining. “I was quite young when I got my first period, I was 11, and I didn’t tell anyone about it,” she tells Joii. “I think from the beginning I felt embarrassment around menstruating and so I thought it would be easier to hide it from my family and friends rather than let them know what was happening to me.” Ciara eventually opened up to her mother about getting her period and since then has spent her time trying to undo the shame she feels about her period. “Now I know that it’s nothing to be ashamed of and I’ll talk openly about it. But there definitely is still an element of embarrassment there for me, for example in work I wouldn’t tell any of my male managers that I feel unwell or have cramps, so I suppose there’s still stigma that I need to learn to let go of, I do hope that I can see society move past that in my lifetime,” she adds. 

Research shows that Ciara isn’t alone in her feelings, a study from ActionAid UK found that 26% of women in the UK have faced period shaming, 46% said that they felt embarrassed the first time they got their period, while 52% admitted to hiding their sanitary products while carrying them to the bathroom to avoid embarrassing other people. 

Individuals can’t hold the power to change society alone, however through enough small actions among enough people, it can spark change among higher powers. Many of the shame and taboo created around periods need to be addressed by the powers at be, such as governments and corporations through things like education, funding to provide free period care products, and a more positive depiction of menstruation through media. However, it is possible for us to take smaller matters into our own hands and play a small part as individuals to break through the barriers created around menstruation.

Put yourself in any room with other people who menstruate and voila! You already have common ground. It’s one of the most extraordinarily mundane experiences that a person can go through, so why not spark up a conversation about it? You could mention to your co-worker that you’re feeling less productive today because you’ve just got your period, or you could ask your friend to tell you about how their got their first period at your next coffee-catch-up. Incorporating conversations about menstruation in everyday life will help to normalise it not only for you but for those around you too, reducing the shame and stigma attached to it. 

Did you know that there are over 5000 euphemisms for menstruation around the world? That’s a lot of ways to say ‘period’. You might find it cute to say it’s ‘that time of the month’ when you’re on your period, but this doesn’t help the wider narrative and simply reinforces the idea we’ve been given – that periods shouldn’t be talked about. Instead, by calling it by its factual name like your period or menstruation you’re removing the secrecy and in turn, the stigma. 

In many cases, school education on the menstrual cycle and menstruation can be lacking. One particular study carried out by BMC Women’s Health looked at 400 secondary school girls in Nepal and found that a whopping 57.7% of the girls examined had an unsatisfactory level of knowledge around the menstrual cycle. One of the best ways we can fight back at period shame is to learn more about the menstruation process. If you want to do this yourself, a good place to start is by learning about the different cycle phases, and how our hormones fluctuate throughout them. At Joii, we’re dedicated to giving women and people who menstruate the autonomy they need to achieve their most informed menstrual health yet. To this, Dr. Danielle adds: “It is crucial to embrace open and honest public discussions using accurate and specific language to challenge the existing societal culture of shaming periods. Educating ourselves and others about the negative impact that period stigma can have on females and those who menstruate is important to break this taboo. I also believe that engaging men and boys at young ages in conversations about menstruation is crucial. We can break down gender barriers to help reduce this stigma.” 

*names have been changed